the missing chunk

...and finally I'm going to tell you why I declared the entire month of May to be Heart Month.

On May 9th 2000 my dad passed away.  He had heart disease and it went undetected because he was otherwise quite healthy.  I was a senior in high school, getting ready to graduate and go off to college.  I went to an in-state school, about an hour from home, because dad promised he'd take me out to lunch when he was in town for work.  I don't ever regret going (to University of Colorado, by the way), even though I never got to have lunch with dad.

I remember that day really clearly.  I had a graduation event at the Denver Natural History Museum.  The top graduates were invited to the museum for a special ceremony, including a short filming of us "throwing our caps".  There were three people from my school, including myself.  My mom was meeting dad and me at the museum since she was coming straight from work.  She was running late and I had to run off with the other graduates.  I told dad I loved him before I went. Ironically that's the last thing I said to him. 

We did our photography session outside, and then filed back into the Museum for the rest of the ceremony.  There was some delay in seating us, and we overheard that someone's grandfather had collapsed.  I stood with my friend and her dad while I searched the room for my family.  Her dad said to her, "see? aren't you glad your dad takes care of himself?"  Seconds later, my name was called over the loudspeaker.  My eyes bulged in disbelief.  I immediately turned away from my friend and her dad and walked like a zombie until I found my mom.  She was crying and shaking. I'd never seen anything like it.  She said "daddy's sick." Hardly.  Sick implies time...duration....hope.  The trip to the hospital was a blur.  Some lady from the museum volunteered to drive us there and she tried to comfort me along the way.

Once we got to the hospital, they led us to the room with soft chairs and tissue boxes.  We sat and waited.  I don't know how long.  At some point the doctor walked in and gave us his best "...we did the best we could, but unfortunately..." speach.  I stopped breathing and fell to my knees before I cried.  The next few minutes were filled with hustle and bustle and phone calls.  A really nice old nurse sat with me and rubbed my back.  It helped...sorta.  I remember nothing else.  In fact the only thing I could think about for days...or maybe weeks...was what I remembered happening before we left the house.

Rewind to earlier that day.  Dad and I were hanging out at home waiting until we had to leave for the Museum.  He went to lay down for a bit; he had a bit of heartburn, he thought; heartburn was quite typical for dad.  Whenever my parents were sick, I always wanted to take care of them. I brought dad a glass of water and a piece of toast.  As I was preparing his get-well snack, I glanced at the bottle of Bayer...a little longer than normal.  You always hear that if someone takes Bayer, it could save them from a heart attack.  I had no reason, at the time, to think he needed Bayer.  The thought quickly passed and I brought dad his snack; he didn't need Bayer for heartburn.  But what if I thought for half a second more and actually brought him that Bayer?  Would he still be here?

Anyways, after ten years, I consider my life to be mostly normal.  But there will always be this giant chunk missing from my heart (metaphorically, of course).  Dad never saw me graduate high school, or college, or grad school, or get my first job, or threaten my first boyfriend.  I can't make funny faces at him across the dinner table anymore, or sneak out of the dining room early to snuggle on the couch and watch TV.  I didn't have a dad to help me move my heavy stuff into my dorm, or teach me how to use my computer.  I won't have a dad to walk me down the aisle whenever I get married.  I hate museums now.  All of them.  I'll go in and look around if I have to, but it doesn't take long until I feel pressure from everywhere and want to start sprinting towards the exit. 

So in honor of dad, I pay extra attention to my heart, especially during the month of May...

Love you, daddy!

(Dad served in the military for awhile when he was younger.  They put a flag over his casket at his funeral.  Ive kept his flag and some pictures of him on my bookshelf for the past 10 years.)

i heart...

...fridays
...rain
...my far-away family
...my mini family (the boy and the dog)
...my far-away friends
...brazilian cheese bread
...the mountains
...my pillow
...learning french
...baking chocolate chip cookies
...amazon.com
...cappuccino
...tasting menus
...running downhill
...saturday morning spin class
...cupcakes
...hot showers
...flip flops
...hazelnut gelato, nutella ice cream, red velvet ice cream
...snow season
...my true luv skis
...fat tire
...santa barbara dog beach
...stray tennis balls on the side of the road
...tennis balls in my living room
...leeks
...vacations
...long weekends
...purple sometimes and usually pink
...when YOU leave me a comment about what YOU heart...

eat your heart out

Another heart month feature!

For the past few years, I've been somewhat obsessed with "heart healthy" foods (especially dark chocolate and red wine, but that's for another time).  I was thrilled when we came up with this delicious, heart-healthy meal that's perfect for welcoming summertime.

Salmon and tilapia ceviche in endive leaves lined with smashed avocado.  Can you say Omega 3?  Loads of it.  This is super easy to make, too!  And requires NO cooking!  You make true ceviche by marinating tiny pieces of fish in tons of lemon and lime juice, and the citrus cooks the fish for you overnight in the refrigerator.  I have to say, salmon tastes much much better when it's cooked this way; it doesn't get dry like it does in the oven or stovetop.  Creamy avocado is the perfect accompaniment to the citrusy fish, and crispy endive cups are a perfectly healthy substitute (and much tastier, in my opinion) for chips.

We had our ceviche with bowls of cool homemade gazpacho soup, which is typically made with tomato, cucumber, and green pepper. Ours also had watermelon in it.  Vegetables are great for your heart too, I'm sure of it. Tomatoes have lycopene...I'm sure that means something.

Doesn't this look delicious? I could eat it every week.  And my heart would love me for it!

Comment or email me if you want the recipe...I know you do!

What's your favorite heart healthy meal?

the visitor

We have a visitor.  He greeted me by pooping on the floor, peeing on the couch, and knocking over the dog food and the trash can.

In case you were wondering, labbies and beagles do not make the best of friends. 

It's clear who's top dog here, though.  With the slightest nudge, my sweet wuss of a lab stepped aside while the little guy stole his water.  At least we don't have to worry about them fighting over who's the alpha dog.  My pup will gladly roll over to anyone and anything.

And walking these two is a nightmare.  Beagle takes off in whatever direction he wants, lab follows.  Lab cannot be more than 5 inches from beagle's butt.  I figured out that in order to ensure forward motion, beagle had to walk in the front, with lab directly behind beagle's butt.

My lab pup is dyyying to play and continues to chase after and lunge at poor visiting beagle, who really just wants to be left alone.  The barking and whining will not stop.  I really can't wait till these two get used to eachother...otherwise it's going to be a long weekend.

be still, my heart

Happy Heart Month!

Check out my new heart rate monitor!! 

(Jen, if you're reading this, I looked all over for the green one so as not to copy you in every aspect of my life, but they are no longer making the green one and this model was significantly cheaper than any other model on Amazon.  And it's pink.  Thanks for understanding.)

I was SO excited when my heart rate monitor showed up on my doorstep!  I've had grand plans for this sucker - aerobic base training.

Whaaaat?

Aerobic base training is basically where you train your heart to get efficient at pumping blood and oxygen throughout your body by moving at a snail's pace.  Ok, not really, but it is essential to keep your heart rate relatively low to effectively train your heart.  It is also boring. Very very boring.  BUT the idea here is that aerobic training is the most effective for fat burn AND helps prevent burnout, which I am so incredibly prone to (not fat burn...fat...and burnout).

So...here's to my new heart rate monitor and aerobic base training!

I've used it three times now to run around my neighborhood.  Mind you, I'm not in the best shape of my life and haven't really been running much lately, and spinning doesn't necessarily train you to be more efficient at running, SO these first few trips were interesting.  I honestly don't know if my heart was confused or if my monitor was confused, but something went horribly wrong on my second run - my heart rate dropped to like 63 mid-run....yeah right!...and I noticed some ridiculous lag in the time it took to report that I was, indeed, huffing and puffing.  I have to say, I was quite disappointed in my heart toy; I'm a scientist, I want my tools to be reliable - timely and accurate.  I later realized that my sportsbra was tucked into the chest strap and that may have been a likely the cause of my issues - wardrobe malfunction - it'll get you every time.  We'll see how my next few 'round-the-neighborhood adventures go.

Do you have any heart rate training tips to share?

heart month

I hereby declare May to be heart month.  I made this decision upon the exciting arrival of my new heart rate monitor, and the super heart-healthy meal we made ourselves.  I suppose I could have made it heart week, as both of those events took place last week, BUT there's one important event that I've missed that's incredibly important in declaring the entire month of May to be heart month.

More to come!

wake up call

The dog woke me up this morning at 6am.  SIX!  On Saturday!

I've noticed this pattern recently with the pooch's choice for wake up time.  It seems that on the weekends, when I would otherwise be able to sleep in, my dear sweet pup wants to wake up early.  And play.  And let me tell you, he is relentless.  Ok, I get it, he's an early riser, and that's fine.  I'm a morning person too.  But the weird part is that he likes to sleep in during the week.  So when I have to crawl out of bed on Monday morning to go to work, I wake up to a crappy alarm and have to un-cuddle myself from the dog, who inevitably has his head (or more) resting on some part of me.  It's painful!  Could you resist this face?

(Ok, so maybe this is a bad example since this shot was taken as he was caught destroying my down comforter, but STILL, you get the point)

In never really made sense to me why he had to get up super early on the weekends but not during the week when I could really use that early morning nudge to wake up.

But then I got to thinking - maybe he's right.  Maybe he's been right all along!

I mean...don't you walk in to work on Monday mornig exclaiming that your weekend just wasn't long enough?  Well maybe if you'd gotten your butt out of bed before noon, as my pooch would say, you'd have had more time on the weekends to have fun!  Weekends are free time (for the most part) to do whatever you want!  Why, oh, why would we want to sleep the weekend away just so we can kill ourselves at work the next week?   And why am I in such a rush to get to work and sit at a desk all day long?  So I can get out earlier?  And do what?  It's still a 9-hour work day, and no matter how you slice it, I still don't have enough time for any real adventure at the end of the day.  So why not get up early and get the most out of my weekends? 

I'm pretty sure that's just what my brilliant dog has been trying to tell me this whole time.  Thanks for the wake up call, pup!  Oh, and you want to go for a walk too?  OK...since we have time!

Happy Saturday!  I hope you make the most of it!